Checking In vs. Checking On: The Leadership Shift that Builds Trust
Leadership is often defined by small, pivotal moments. Recently, I had one of those moments when a leader touched base with me ahead of a training session I was facilitating for her team.
As an external consultant, I’ve interacted with countless leaders, but their approach stood out. In the course of our conversation, they asked a single, simple question that revealed so much about their leadership style:
💬 “What else do you need from us for tomorrow to be successful?”
At first glance, it might seem like just a logistical query. But it was much more than that—it was a reflection of her genuine care and commitment to collaboration.
This interaction reminded me of an important distinction in leadership:
🔑 Checking On: This is transactional. It’s about oversight, often coming across as “keeping tabs” or ensuring compliance. While well-intentioned, it can inadvertently convey mistrust or a lack of partnership.
🔑 Checking In: This is relational. It’s about partnership and a shared vision of success. It demonstrates curiosity, respect, and a willingness to adapt to meet others’ needs.
This leader’s question wasn’t about control; it was about empowerment. They were invested not just in the outcome of the training but also in my ability to bring my best to the room.
Context is Important: When Checking On Is Necessary
Of course, there are times when leaders need to “check on” progress—especially in high-stakes situations, tight deadlines, or projects that require close monitoring.
The key difference lies in how it’s done:
- Approach it collaboratively: Pair your inquiry with support, e.g., “How’s it coming along? Is there anything you need from me to move it forward?”
- Make it situational: Reserve frequent “checking on” for tasks where oversight is critical.
The best leaders balance these approaches, ensuring that “checking on” feels like accountability and support, not micromanagement.
Back to Checking In and Why This Matters
Leaders who “check in” foster psychological safety, build trust, and model a culture of collaboration. These actions create ripples, influencing how teams interact and perform. Meanwhile, leaders who overuse “checking on” risk stifling creativity and eroding trust.
How to Shift from Checking On to Checking In
- Ask Thoughtful Questions: Replace “Did you get that done?” with “What can I do to support you?”
- Be Present: Listen actively to responses and demonstrate that their success matters to you.
- Empower Others: Show trust by offering resources, removing obstacles, and letting people shine.
The Ripple Effect
Leadership is a series of choices that create ripples—either toward connection or away from it. By choosing to check in, leaders send a clear message: “We’re in this together.”
A Genuine Call to Action
The next time you’re leading a project, coaching a team, or checking in with a colleague, pause and reflect:
- Are you fostering trust and collaboration?
- Are you empowering others to bring their best to the table?
✨ Commit to making “checking in” a habit.
If this resonated with you and you’re looking for additional strategies or exploring innovative ways to navigate workplace challenges, let’s connect! I’d be happy to discuss how thoughtful leadership practices can empower your team and create ripples of positive change.
💬 Reach out to me here—I’d love to explore how we can work together to build trust, resilience, and stronger workplace dynamics.
